On April 12, 2022, I had the absolute privilege of donating one of my kidneys to one of the most beautiful people I have known. He is not only the father of my daughter-in-law but also a husband, brother, Bop Bop to our grandchildren, and dear friend. The entire experience has been a humbling one.
I don’t know if most people see the impact of kidney failure on a person. I struggle with being told what a benevolent act this was because I am not the hero of this story. The heroes of this story are my daughter-in-law’s parents, who have partnered through 3 years of adversity despite all challenges.
Being on dialysis means 3-hour treatment (chair time), not to include hooking up, taking off, and travel. This occurs 3-4 days a week and then feeling terrible the next day to have dialysis again. When I say “terrible,” I mean fatigue, nausea, weakness, no appetite, taste buds change, and you no longer enjoy your favorite meals. There is no quality of life. It means not being able to travel, make plans, or have the energy to enjoy the things I have taken for granted. Put Covid in the equation, and you now add fear of infection with an already compromised condition. Not being able to be with family the way you used to be.
I will not sit here and tell you I did not have my fears and moments of anxiety, but I was all in when I was all in. I prayed, I read, I ate chocolate, I gave it to God that if I was healthy enough and a match, I wanted to do it. I went through a lot of testing: CT scans, blood tests, 3-hour kidney tests, etc. They make sure this process is just as much about the donor as the recipient.
And being a donor takes a village of support. For me, my family has been my rock. First, I want to thank my kidney partner, Al, for taking this journey with me. I thank my husband, David, for always standing by me and supporting me, my mom and family for always loving me through the scary parts, my son Matty and daughter-in-law Allison for the excellent post-op care and putting up with my times of anxiety.
When surgery day comes, it is surreal. Is this happening? My biggest fear was for my partner that he would be ok, that my kidney would work. I was fine; I do well with surgery, and this was no different. It is like a C-section; they used the same scar I got from my c-section years ago with Matty. Matthew was there to tell me when I woke up that his father-in-law did great. My kidney started working right away, and he gets a little better each day.
I believe that what we leave in this world is more important than what we take. Family is everything, and I am so grateful I get to spend more time with all my family and extended family.
